23 months.

This picture sums up today perfectly. So here we are: 1 month away from being 2. Hopefully 1 day away from being healthy again.

in between the baby aisles and the men’s department.

I should warn you in advance this blog is mainly about vomit. Is that the best word to use for it? Barf. Puke. Throw up. Alright, that was unnecessary, but you did have fair warning.

I rarely blog in the way I actually like to blog anymore. I like to write. I like to write one word sentences like “Barf.”. I would list writing as my one true hobby. (Perhaps my lack of hobbies is a different post for a different day?) Writing makes me happy. And yet, it’s been 1 day shy of a month since I blogged, and that last one (or one hundred or so) was 97% pictures. But today there was vomit so coincidentally similar to previous vomit that I feel compelled to share it with the world.

These are the things that matter to me people!

Holland has only been really sick 1 other day of her life. By “really sick” I mean flu-ish, barfy, a tad fevery, if you will. Being just 1 day shy of 23 months (get excited for tomorrow’s 97% picture post!), I consider ourselves very lucky. I’ve always prided myself on my amazing immune system, and I like to think that along with a nose, eyes, and hair that I kid you not is the exact same color as mine at my ends, I gave her an extra antibody or two to fight off the perils of toddler germs. This is probably not true. The girl has had a runny nose for at least 18 of her almost-23-months. So basically, I just consider ourselves very lucky. And to be entirely honest, I think my amazing immune system, along with my ability to do jumping jacks and not pee, is a thing of the past. (I swear that’s a joke.)

The last time Holland was really sick was the day after Thanksgiving, 2010. She was 5 months old. We had decided to do a little Black Friday Target shopping. And by we, I mean, me. She was after all, only 5 months old. I had taken my parents and brothers to the airport that morning, and Holland had been crying a lot (not unusual for baby Holland, but annoying nonetheless). I gave her a bottle and my dad said “See? She was hungry.” Men. Anyway, we stopped at the Sunnyvale Target on our way back from the airport to see if there were anything I just had to have the day after Thanksgiving. You know, a $5 DVD from the 90s, some Christmas socks or a 10-pack of iTunes gift cards for the price of a 9.5 pack.

I moved Holland from the car to the cart, still buckled in her car seat, and headed up the elevator to begin my usual cycle through the store. I head straight down the aisle in between accessories and women’s clothes, past intimates (mostly charactered-pajamas that don’t look too intimate to me), and maternity clothes (I could still fit in them, but shouldn’t be buying them of course) to the end, where I hang a right: the place in between the baby aisles and the men’s department. A stretch of shiny white space we now know well.

Holland started to make appropriate pre-barfing sounds, and then it just started flowing. I tried to unbuckle her and help her sit up, but it didn’t do much other than help the throw up spread over a greater area. All down her front, through her car seat, into the cart, on to my feet, the floor. The entire contents of that extra bottle my dad was so happy I gave her were now regurgitated all over Target. Luckily, besides my now-drenched diaper bag, I think I had only placed some baby antibacterial wipes in my cart (should’ve used them a little earlier, Kace). We cleaned up as best we could, ditched the cart and headed home. Everyone around me pretended not to notice.

Ashton was golfing.

This brings me to today. Holland fell asleep in the car on the way to the Sunnyvale Target at 11:30 in the morning. That should’ve been my sign to turn back, but when you’re determined to make your returns and get diaper rash ointment, nothing’s going to stop you. Plus, something startled Holland and she woke up suddenly and tried to pull it off like she’d been awake the whole time. I know you better than that girlfriend. “Tah-ga now” she said, and so I complied. We went in and made our usual loop around to the baby aisles. I hemmed and hawed (who says that besides my mom??) over which baby sunscreen wouldn’t make her break out in a rash like the rest have, found the ointment, and wheeled her back out into the space between the baby aisles and the men’s department. We were maybe 5 feet closer to electronics than last time.

She started swallowing a lot and saying “need mama.” I picked her up out of the cart, and I could tell it was coming. I had nothing to catch it with other than my hand, and really, what good did that do? After about 3 explosions of bright pink barf, she seemed to be done. It was all over her, my hand, my arm, my shirt, my jeans, my flip-flops (and toes), and the floor.  I set her down shoeless on the floor in a safe zone, and tried to get out some wipes to clean it up. That didn’t do much except spread the barf into my diaper bag, but I couldn’t think of anything else to do. Several other customers saw our predicament and kept walking. Not that I’d expect them to dive in or anything, but at least an understanding glance would’ve been nice. Where’s the we’re-all-in-this-together-because-we-all-love-Target community feel? A Target employee watched her throw up and started to walk away until I suggested he ask someone to clean the floor. He then came back to put up one of those “cuidado, it’s wet here” signs, and said he would wait with me. I figured we didn’t need to wait around for the janitor; we’d done our part. The employee was surprised I was going to leave such precious items in our cart. But we have bigger problems than sunscreen and diaper rashes, man! I picked her up and booked our bright pink smelly selves back to the car.

Ashton is golfing.

22 months.

A lover of anything mama has, does, wears, wants, thinks…

She loves that she gets all of my old makeup, and will hold up the old one to the one I’m currently using and say “say say” (“same same”).

But then she tries to switch them. Somehow she realizes my current selection is much better than her tiny bag. She pulls out brushes, eyeshadows and the eyelash curler and say “dis hawa.” For those who prefer proper grammar, she means “this is Holland’s.”

This is her own makeup bag, with a brush she stole from mama.

Just putting on a little mascara.

Wow, cool, a mascara wand.

easter.

Even without an Easter bonnet and only one egg with candy in it, Holland was pretty into the Easter festivities. On Monday morning she asked Ashton where the eggs were (not in those words exactly), and was sorely disappointed that he didn’t jump up and hide another round for her.

We really don’t keep her locked out all that often anymore, but I sure love that we have the option.

The Easter Bunny had a coupon at Target for this cabbage patch doll in a bunny costume. Part baby, part animal. A winning combination for Holland.

How she smiles on demand, seen here and below.

Such a natural.

the ears.

This is me. Oh, did the hat give it away? Looks like Walt hadn’t worked out the infant sizing quite yet back in 1984. Anyway, this picture was the inspiration for all of the ones that follow. She had to have her own personalized ears, right? Right.

It’s quite the high-tech process to get your name on the back of your ears. I think when I got mine, there must have just been an old lady dressed up as Walt’s mom stitching them by  hand while you waited.

She could NOT wait for her ears!! (She left the purple cabbage patch in Tatum’s hotel room, and swiped this pink one… Or the “Taytee baby” as we call her.)

See!

Okay, she wanted it off immediately.

But she wanted daddy to put them on, and he didn’t hesitate!

Ashton’s Mickey Mouse yamaka.

Later that night, she still didn’t want to wear them. What a surprise.

The hotel amenities distracted her just long enough to let us try them again the next morning.

I know this is the back of the hat, but it’s so much cuter to see her name than Mickey’s.

21 months.

She doesn’t always look quite so pig-ish and blurry. We still like her this way though.

Please note our latest efforts to keep her from gnawing the paint/wood off of her crib. (Thanks Kim for that blanket. Who knew it had so many uses?)

She handed me potatoes to wash for dinner, but wouldn’t give this last dirty one up.

disneyland.

Ah yes, Disneyland. Just 6 short weeks have past since our trip. Time to finally reveal what I hope will not be the biggest let down of your blog reading lives. There are so many options to break this up. By day, of course. Rides. Parks. Camera vs. iPhone. Etc. etc. But I don’t really want to because you know as well as I do if I do one, I’ll never do the rest. Let’s just get started and see what happens. So hold on to your hats and glasses. This is the wildest ride in the world wide web. (I love how lame that was.)

Holland and Tatum, their mothers, a couple bags of chips and this baby doll (and a few not pictured) flew down to Disneyland. It was one of the best decisions we made the whole trip.

Our first night of the trip, and her first time in California Adventure. She was running toward that “character” in front of her to ask her where she got that great outfit, and did it come in a 2T? Disneyland doesn’t have employees or workers, they have characters. I acted the part of Holland’s mom the whole trip.

Day 2. It’s a rough life staying in a hotel with Minnie Mouse on the TV.

Family pictures with Rachel Thurston Photography. Deserving of its own post. Oh, and for those of you who don’t remember what Spencer looks like, he does have legs and his head is not 2 ft. tall.

Her post-pictures reward. Some naked Pirate’s Booty time.

I clearly did not have the patience to wait long enough to get closer to Mickey’s floral head, or let Ashton even set her up for the picture. But this is a shot of her first few seconds in Disneyland. Priceless.

Oh wait, now she’s been here for a few minutes. How does she look?

Her first Disneyland ride. These are precious moments I’m capturing on this blog, huh? “Dun-do… up up up…. down… ella” Ella as in Elephant. We don’t know anyone named Ella who rode with us. She loved it.

You have never seen a girl love the merry-go-round like this one. Or really you may have. But we hadn’t.

Not nearly as excited for Peter Pan as I was apparently.

Yeah, still not excited. She was saying “Out out out” for maybe half the ride.

The kids table.

And the mostly adults table. How did Talmage get in here?

Our second time eating at Tortilla Jo’s in one day. And yes, it really was that yellow.

Day 3. The Little Mermaid ride. And come on Holland. If Mom’s going to bring her A-game, you need to at least show up for the picture.

There were quite a few moments like this. So maybe it’s not The Happiest Place on Earth ALL the time…

But that didn’t keep me from taking pictures.

Hudson and Holland. She thought she was so cool standing up there with him. (Yeah, she told me.)

A dancing Josh character.

Passing the time while the bigger (but not braver) kids rode California Screamin’.

We took a lot of pictures of ourselves on rides. Exhibit A. Winnie the Pooh.

She’s not the best line-waiter yet.

But super cute when you entertain her.

Exhibit B. It’s a Small World.

Exhibit C. Dumbo. Should’ve told you I was snapping away, Ashton.

I’m not sure Ashton and Holland are even in this shot, but I sure like the lights.

Guess how much this balloon cost (I really wanted to say “costed.”) us? I’ll tell you. $12. It lasted one night. Holland would say it was definitely worth it!! Ashton would say that keeping it from bumping into hundreds of people’s faces  as they lined up for the parade was maybe the worst part of the whole trip.

Day 4. Isn’t this picture so cute? Who knew you should check your camera settings, or that all three of them turned into these freaky looking ghosts at Disneyland?

We carouseled our little hearts out on this trip. She still talks about it almost daily. “Up up up… up ‘n down… neigh.”

Talmage wanted to be our photog for a little while. We kind of wish he had dressed up like the “characters” who you can pay to take your picture in front of the castle, but he didn’t. (There’s always next time.)

More line waiting shenanigans. The people all around us loved having the chain hit them.

I really only needed to post these to have a place to say that Ashton and I have done this Toy Story ride twice, and I’ve won both times. Once, with a toddler on my lap. I didn’t let her even try to play. Maybe next time.

“Up ‘n down… [bubble sounds]” (Just kidding.) She’s trying to give this fish — Okay, I don’t know what kind of sea creature it actually is — a love. I thought it was pretty sweet.

It looks like G-pa is really lecturing Maisy on proper carousel riding etiquette, and she’s like “Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’ve heard it all before.” In reality he was just about to point at the camera to show her to where to look.

The only day it got hot. And I’m sure Disneyland keeps these fountains extra clean.

At California Adventure, with Mickey’s massive head.

The first set of Wise twins.

And so it ends. Waiting for Ashton to pick us up from the hotel for the drive home. I love these tiny Jamba Juice cups.

One of of only a few peaceful moments on the drive home.

My family stalking each other on the drive home. This app was another great trip decision, but maybe a little creepy for every day life? The day before the trip both Aaron and Jena texted me to ask what I was doing at Stanford Shopping Center.

I love Disneyland, and this trip was so much fun. It was the perfect combination of time with just us 3, time with the whole family, corn dogs, Holland rides, Ashton and KC rides, Disneyland paraphernalia (just that balloon and the special eat, which apparently will get its own post as its not pictured here), and beautiful weather. Since the trip we’ve invested in “Mimmie” chapstick, book and sippy cups. I think Holland is set to be a Disneyland lover for life.

disneyland teaser.

I’m feeling a Disneyland mega-post coming soon. It’s been too mega to conquer thus far, but now that it’s almost a month behind me, I think I’m ready.

february 29th.

Holland’s first February 29th! Leap Day! What a day to celebrate! She spent a good portion of the morning hours attempting to detangle and comb the hair of Owen’s plastic doll. What an amazing use of time on this extra day we get every 4 years. I just had to commemorate it on the blog.

20 months.

This is getting ridiculous. 20!? Perhaps it’s time to stop with the monthly posts. Or to start saying she’s 1 2/3. Equally ridiculous. When people (the random people we see out and about in the world, generally the elderly…) ask how old she is, I go back and forth between saying “1 1/2″ and “almost 2.” (“Almost” is really kind of a big stretch, too.) If I go with 1 1/2, they always talk about how big she is. If I say almost 2, they think she’s kind of a dummy of a toddler. You can’t win with the oldies. One guy yesterday asked me 3 times what her name was. He could not understand Holland. Finally he said “Is it a boy or a girl? I’ve never known a boy named Hollings.” I of course told him “it” was a girl. He seemed satisfied and said to her “You’re pretty good, Hollings.” Pretty good, huh? Not bad I guess. We’ll take it.

She won’t keep any bows or headbands in her hair, but it’s starting to get in her eyes a lot. I tried this one mini bobby pin today, and I don’t think she could see or feel it, so the little thing lasted through a trip to Costco and about 10 minutes at the park. (BTW, who knew her Halloween Bieber hoodie would become her favorite? Oh, and she calls it her “Lulu.” Sorry they don’t make Baby Lululemon, Holls.)

Hollings spent the majority of the post-nap part of her day pants-less with crazy nap curls. Just the way we like her.

She’s saying “love” and holding her arms out for a hug. You probably wouldn’t guess that just by looking at this picture.

I found these teeny tiny Disney classic board books at TJ Maxx this week. She really loves them, but when she sees the full-length animated features she’s going to be really surprised. There is basically no plot in the 5 tiny pages of each book.

This is how she gets up (or tries to) on the glider. I have no idea why.

The people below us are remodeling. (We maybe don’t love that all the time.) Holland does love watching the guys saw wood and stuff outside her window. Every time he walks away she says “back, back, back.” Either she loves his backside, or she wants him to come back. We’re not sure.

Her purse. It holds all of her essentials: phone, keys, Disneyland lanyard, Albertson and Blockbuster cards.

Jena, right before I took this picture she was holding the phone up to her ear and said “Hi Tay-tee.” I missed that moment, but caught her licking the phone. Such love for her cousin I guess.

Try to look past the almost-blooper-worthy look on her face. This is how she shows “two.” Usually if I tell her she can have one of something, she holds up her two pointers and says “two, two, two.” Most often the subject comes up in terms of how many wipes she can get out to change her baby’s diaper.